roaches

i've been having roach problems at my shreveport apartment. instead of asking management to come for the third time to spray the place, i've broken down and bought roach motels. their previous efforts did not prove themselves to be effective. with the roach motels, i now come home to find not live roaches that i have to chase hesitantly with one flip-flop in hand and risk getting roach juice on the kitchen counter but dead roaches i just have to sweep up and dump in the trash. is it hypocritical to kill roaches but be anti-guns? i feel like the roach motels are kind of like guns in that they make killing much more convenient and cleaner. to kill someone without a gun, you probably have to bludgeon or stab them. without the roach motel, i have to kill the nasty roaches by the same method - squish them with a flip-flop or a wad of paper towels. roaches are just so gross though. if i am being hypocritical, just keep in mind that i am only human.

p.s. in a previous entry, i made the point that it's the people, not the guns, who are the problem. i am, however, anti-guns, someone who will never own one even for self-protection. seriously, i'd end up hurting myself before the attacker.

dallas revisited

this dallas trip was devoted to the museum of art in the downtown area. i must say, i was quite impressed with the matisse exhibit that the museum of art held in conjunction with the nasher sculpture museum/garden. i arrived just before noon and didn't leave the premises until 3:30p. starting from the portion at the museum of art, you were able to get a sense of matisse's mental and creative process as you were kind of guided through the exhibit, and it was really eye-opening to see his how he related painting to sculpting and vice versa. to him, the two mediums express his ideas in different ways; the limits of one method can be overcome by the other, obviously because one is 2-dimensional and the other is 3-dimensional. they are still intertwined, however. the way this exhibit is set up, you are able to see how matisse was able to take the creativity that came forth while sculpting and bring it into his paintings, qualities which take his paintings to another level.

after seeing the portion at the art museum, i crossed the street to the sculpture garden. there continued presentations of matisse's serial works such as "the backs", "madeleine", and busts of "jeanette". these series show matisse exploring abstraction as the figures progress becoming more abstract and more streamline in form. there was also a large display of "jazz", his book of paper cut outs. the method is so simple, something that kids do in elementary art classes. yet, his paper cut outs are vibrant in color and contain stimulating shapes and configurations. i'd have to say they're my favorite, combining a sense of innocence with exuberant creativity.

other works that interested me in the sculpture garden included jonathan borofsky's "walking to the sky", george segal's "rush hour", and naum gabo's "constructed head #2".

afterwards, as i was leaving the museum, i saw signs for the farmers market. it is a place i must revisit - i didn't arrive until the afternoon, and it seemed that most of the farmers had already left. there were a few stalls still in operation, and i managed to snag some snap peas, sweet cherry tomatoes, and limes. on one hand, it's so difficult to buy produce by the bucketful when you live by yourself. on the other hand, it prevented me from buying everything.

other destinations failed (a cd store i found online had actually closed forever, and a reebok listing turned out not to be a storefront but their business office), but it was still a good day. the thing that bugs me the most about dallas is the same thing that i don't like about la or probably any new big city: it takes at least 1/2 hour to drive to anywhere. i have to plan my trip before heading out the door or else i'll just spend the whole day driving. i was so exhausted by the time i returned to shreveport. thank goodness sundays are for sleeping in.

"curb" on abortion

warning that this blog contains kind of graphic descriptions of a medical procedure.

yesterday, the supreme court upheld the ban on late-term abortion. according to the washington post, the justices "approved an abortion restriction that did not contain an exception for the health of the woman. it does, however, provide an exception to save the woman's life." so the procedure will only be legal if a late-term abortion will save her life, not her health. it's fine that she is forced to live in poorer health post-partum, probably making motherhood much harder, and in effect, probably affecting the child, i would bet, not positively.

i agree that the procedure they're banning is horrific. intact dilation and evacuation (IDX) involves delivering the fetus in one piece and crushing the skull of the fetus to make the removal of it easier. yeah, if any decent woman knew the details of this procedure, i doubt she would agree to it. the reason that doctors would recommend this method of abortion is because it "carries a lower risk of bleeding, infections and permanent injury." the alternative is to remove the fetus in pieces (dilation and evacuation) which is still pretty frightening.

ginsburg said it right as to why i oppose this decision: "...the court deprives women of the right to make an autonomous choice...this way of thinking reflects ancient notions about women's place in the family and under the Constitution -- ideas that have long since been discredited." women should be educated in the matter, something that they deserve as a human being. this is why i don't understand bush's statement in response to the ruling: "the decision 'affirms that the Constitution does not stand in the way of the people's representatives enacting laws reflecting the compassion and humanity of america.'" what kind of compassion and humanity is involved in assuming that the woman and doctor, a medically trained professional whose job it is to save/improve lives, have no respect for the life of the fetus?

besides, exactly how many IDX are performed, say, each year? what is the rate of this procedure? is it that common that a LAW needs to be implemented? it sounds like something saved as a last resort. someone please educate me on the statistics of this procedure. if it really is a procedure that occurs all the time, then maybe i can see a validity to the law, as much as i may disagree with it. however, if it is a rarely performed procedure, then basically, yesterday's decision is a political move. it's the beginning of the conservatives making way to overturn roe v. wade.

in 2000, the supreme court overturned a nebraska law banning partial-birth abortions. the 5 justices who consisted of the majority were the same justices who dissented yesterday's decision, minus o'connor, which made them the minority with the more recent decision. i hope that i'm wrong to feel like we're the only first world country moving backwards in terms of human rights. it would turn my parents' efforts to immigrate to this country for the sake of my sister's and my lives futile.

virginia tech shooting

the shooting today at virginia tech sent chills to my core. what is happening in this world? it's not just about the guns; it's about the people. gun control can only do so much. there's something intrinsically festering in this culture/society that seems to push people beyond self-control, crossing a certain line of humanity.

my sister and i had a discussion about the incident. she told me about the posts on nytimes.com where people are focused on blaming the lack of gun control in this country. yes, i agree that it doesn't hurt to limit the types of guns available to the public - you don't need anything more than a simple handgun that holds 6 bullets at a time for defense (most people probably can't handle anything more complicated than a simple handgun) and/or a rifle for hunting. but this is such the typical american/western attitude to deal with a problem. as with medical care, the response is to cope with the symptoms instead of getting to the core of the problem and work on PREVENTION. yes, we have some of the most advanced medical care in the world in terms of surgery and treatments for illnesses, but the emphasis should placed on reevaluating our lifestyle that would enhance preventing these illnesses. to paraphrase my sister, the american/western way is "a bandaid to the rescue."

i wonder if we deal with symptoms instead of addressing the underlying issue because it's simply easier. it is what's apparent; half the work is already done. getting to the underlying issue involves finding it and then thinking of solutions to resolve it. i also wonder if capitalism has had a hand in encouraging/perpetuating this american/western attitude. it's more profitable to provide a solution to the symptoms of a problem and sustain the viability of problem than to solve the problem and gain no profit once the problem dissipates.

take u.s. health care again. american health care is one of the most expensive in the world, and the cost only keeps rising. technological advancement also keeps improving, justifying the rising cost. wouldn't it be cheaper, however, if we can focus on our diet and exercise that attribute to a lot of the diseases we develop in our lifetime? not that diet and exercise would solve all medical problems, but it would certainly help restrain the rising number of people who have cardiovascular disorders needing open-heart surgeries and children who develop type 2 diabetes before they hit puberty. i'm not even talking about special diets like atkins and south beach. just eat fresh food that involves as little chemical processing as possible. be more active and climb the stairs instead of relying on the elevator. simple, inexpensive acts that hit the core of the problem. and i'm not saying that we shouldn't continue progress on technology to treat illnesses; it just shouldn't be our main focus.

but maybe it's not such a bad thing to think in terms of profit. maybe it's thinking about profit in monetary terms that's the problem. what if we start thinking about profit in terms of our personal well-being? what good is money if it doesn't contribute to our physical and mental well-being?

going back to the shooting, instead of screaming at congress for more gun regulations, we should address the deeper issue at hand. this gunman is obviously trying to get attention, like the kids in columbine. alienation and desperation will push someone to cross the line to do something so inhumane.

my deepest sympathy to the families and loved ones affected by this tragedy.

sunday

the original plan was to venture to dallas again this weekend. since i couldn't make it to the arts district last week, this was supposed to be the chance. friday was a late day at work, however. we didn't leave the office until shortly after 1am, technically saturday. i also didn't want to drive back tired on sunday night only to have to wake up early to work the next morning. so this weekend has been devoted to nothingness in shreveport.

yesterday was pretty tame. i left the apartment to reclaim the strawberries i was going to take home from the office and to pick up some caffeine to wake up fully and some chicken to make congee for breakfast. i heated up leftovers for dinner and watched the maltese falcon. i didn’t like humphrey bogart’s character. not that he was set up to be any gentleman, but it’s still hard to like a movie/story when you don’t like the protagonist. i ended up the day by going to bed before 10pm, something i haven’t done since...i can’t remember when.

today was a little more interesting. i got my butt out of bed at around 10am and had breakfast at a little local restaurant nearby. they make breakfast the way breakfast should be made. the two kitchens are open; nothing is enclosed or hidden. you see the cartons of eggs piled on a shelf above the grill. that’s a sure sign for a good breakfast joint. the menu was simple, nothing fancy, just as breakfast should be. it’s a meal that jump starts your day. it’s too early of a meal to be anything more than simple and fulfilling. i ordered eggs with bacon, grits, and toast, having already missed the biscuits. of course, there was coffee. the tab was under $6. they apparently serve homemade chicken and dumplings on weekday evenings. i’ll be going back.

afterwards, i went back to the apartment, realizing that i had forgotten my camera. then, i headed for the r. w. norton art gallery, the one and only art museum in shreveport. tucked away in a neighborhood, the sight of the edifice laid upon a large piece of green land is quite impressive. it’s a beige brick structure that stretches out into two wings, with the main entrance dividing the building in half and brown windows lined with white patterned blocks almost giving the wings a joint at which to flap. the collection, however, was not as impressive. well, i guess it might be impressive if your interest lies in cowboy and indian art, but i don’t care much for it. it pains me to see the way native americans are depicted, knowing how much suffering their race had gone through. they are one of the most tortured, destroyed races in history. but i guess it’s in the spirit of the louisiana purchase and the idea of the exploring and conquering the frontier. i am in louisiana after all. there were a couple copies of rodin that held my interest. but the great fascination was the garden behind the museum itself.

i actually had arrived about 45 minutes before the museum opened. so i wondered the plot of land it’s on and found the garden in the back. along the way, i took some close-ups of tree trunks, wanting to capture the rough textures in the early afternoon light. at the garden, i took a couple of pictures of the pond. it was after checking out the art when i went back to the garden that i got really inspired. there were these girls, between the ages of 8 and 11, who were dressed in sequined cowgirl costumes. they seem to be part of a baton-twirling-dancing group. some were chubby and others were skinny. all little white girls with their matching white cowboy hats and boots, exuding a strong texan culture. later, i saw that they were gathering to have their photographs taken by a professional using the garden as a backdrop. when i reached at the garden again, families had shown up and were taking pictures of each other. without any hesitation and almost without thought, i took up my camera and started snapping pictures of people taking pictures of each other. that was the theme of this roll of film: taking family snapshots. not the snapshots themselves but the act of it. i’m anxious to see how the pictures turn out. it’s been a while since i’ve had a jolt of inspiration like that. yeah, today counts as a good day.

dallas

i made a day trip to dallas this past saturday. i expected to see tons of american flags on bumper stickers and rifles peeking from the back cab windows of pick-up trucks. luckily, i didn't see much of it.

dallas actually reminded me of los angeles. being a new city, sprawl rules the city. i saw some signs for some form of public transportation, "DART", deep in the city, but it doesn't seem like a realistic, viable option. freeways crisscross the landscape, lined by huge outdoors shopping centers housing typical semi-suburban businesses such as petco, gap, linens-n-things, super-target, etc. my agenda for the day was mainly shopping for things to make my empty apartment livable. ikea was the first destination, followed by a mall, and ending with whole foods (for cheap good sparkling water). mapquest took me through a residential area that looked like a neighborhood for dinks: small, cute, newly-renovated houses interspersed among older houses with about a 2-inch space separating them. lots of suvs and vws sat on the driveways and on the streets. it even occurred to me that i might like this neighborhood. it looked pretty hip, something i would've expected in austin but not dallas.

this coming weekend will be a real test. i'm planning on revisiting dallas but heading for the arts district. what the museum and galleries have in their collection will be a telling sign of where dallas stands politically and culturally.

hotels

it’s been a full week. and i think there’s another week ahead before i can leave the hotel. it’s not a bad place. it’s actually a little nicer than most places i’d be willing to pay myself. (the company is paying for my lodging.) but not having a kitchen is about to drive me nuts. also, i’ve begun to notice a faint odor of...well, the territorial markers of human beings. seriously, sitting on the small loveseat for a period longer than two seconds, my nose will detect a light whiff of something that reminds me human feces, like public restrooms that get used a lot. it sounds utterly disgusting, and i doubt that underneath the cushions lies a bed of feces. (just the idea of it has repelled me from confirming the possibility.) i have, however, stopped sitting on that couch. really, i think it’s just a matter of the room, having been exposed to so many different human beings. i’ve, at least, stopped being super-paranoid and started using the towels. but i can never feel comfortable here. maybe i’m just too territorial and know that this room will never become MY room.

since i’m going to be in shreveport for almost another three months, i’ve put down a deposit on an apartment. this apartment “community” was the only place i could find that offered a three-month lease. the unit they showed me was decent. i hate carpet, but it’s only three months. my co-workers all raised their eyebrows when i told them, “no, it’s unfurnished.” but see, furnished or not, it’s going to be MINE. i won’t have to worry about housekeepers coming in and touching my stuff. also, i’ll have access to a kitchen, and i’d much rather buy the kitchenware that i have chosen than put up with the crap that a furnished apartment might offer.

i haven’t decided on the bed situation yet. i can rent a bed, but i don’t like the idea of sleeping in beds strangers have slept in, even if the sheets are brand new. hotels are a little different in that i know that i won’t be staying there for a prolong period. the only reason that i haven’t run down the hall screaming like a nutcase is because i can see the end to my nights on this bed. besides, i’ve survived with a sleeping bag for 6-months before someone was kind enough to donate their futon. (i probably would’ve stuck with the sleeping bag if the futon hadn’t basically been handed to me.) i can certainly do 3 months of whatever i decide on, whether it’s a sleeping bag or a thin futon mattress type thing.

another thing that my co-workers raised their eyebrows about is the lack of cable. okay, i admit that i must have internet access, but cable? like a tv? i’m too much of an npr junkie at this point to care for tv. (i love you, ira glass!) i watch tv when it’s there, like at the hotel and living with my sister, who had insisted we get cable. but for myself, i can do without it. i have netflix. i can get tv shows on dvd. yeah, i will only see the shows after everyone else, but i like not having to revolve my life around a show’s schedule and remembering to record it. the other nice thing about seeing a show on dvd is that i can watch the season continuously; i don’t have to be at the whim of the networks, when they decide when to air the next episode.

less things means a simpler life. at least supposedly. i’m looking forward to it.