did it again

i just completed another round of the master cleanse/lemonade diet, a detoxing procedure i have done once before and would like to attempt once a year. it's always a struggle, not so much the lack of food (it's a liquid diet consisting of a specifically made lemonade) but the socializing that's involved with food.

i think the detoxing might've been tougher on r because he enjoys going out to eat but hates to dine alone. but it's over now, and the feasting can resume.

the last time i did the detoxing was during the winter which i thought might've been a poor strategy because you have a natural urge to bulk up during the cold weather. so i tried it this summer, thinking my appetite will diminish in the hot weather and an ice-cold lemonade might be refreshing. i realized that it's mentally tougher, however, because of all the wonderful produce available during the warmer season. i was drooling over all the peaches and nectarines and berries at the farmers market but unable to taste them. next time, i think i'll stick to the colder season.

food

i finished the master cleanse/lemonade diet a couple of days ago. the diet involves deprivation of solid foods and substaining merely on a mixture of water, lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. the goal is mainly to flush out your digestive system and rid your body of toxins (my main goal) although some people use it as a weightloss diet (not my goal). the diet lasted for the minimum of 10 days. before embarking on the diet, i researched blogs and other postings of people who shared their experience. almost all of them said that you wouldn't even care for food after the 4th or 5th day. i became very curious that your body actually wouldn't yearn for food because i'm always up for food. i love food, but i wanted to see if this diet really would make me look at food differently and feel refreshed and clean afterwards. by my 4th or 5th day, i started to dream about food. in the dreams, i'd eat and then feel guilty that i've cheated and ruined the diet. i obsessed more and more about food. maybe making breakfast for my sister and preparing dinner for my dad wasn't really helping the process. also, since i'm not a big fan of sweets, it was hard to limit myself to the sweet lemonade. i couldn't wait to eat real food again.

now that i'm back to eating the usual fare, i feel a little bogged down. i'm not sure if i can do the diet again, but it's made me realize that the way i eat is an indulgence. but then, i really don't indulge in anything else. it's one luxury that i think i'll keep.

high fidelity

this past sunday night, b and i saw high fidelity, broadway musical based on the movie which was based on the nick hornby book of the same title. not that i walked out singing the songs but it was highly entertaining. the lyrics were incredibly well written, and the cast was so energetic. it made me feel old. the musical makes the characters a bit younger than they are in the book so instead of the early/mid-30s as in the book, the characters were more in their mid/late-20s in the musical. maybe the dancing and singing made them seem younger. and i think the actors were younger than their characters too. but regardless, it made me feel old, mainly because i started to think, "i used to have energy and drive like them. now i don't." what sucks is that i still haven't figured out my life.

as for my new schedule, not that i've been following it meticulously but consciously making the effort to not turn to the internet for every little thing that pops in my head has made a difference today. i'm not going to list what i've done, but i feel quite productive.

also, i'm on day 2 of the master cleanse/lemonade diet. it's so hard smelling food and not being able to eat it. i'm still cooking, mainly for b, because i can't imagine not having food as a part of my life. i love it too much. at least someone should enjoy it. i'm already making a mental list of foods i want the day this ends. i miss food.