north carolina

i am back in new york, having spent the week in north carolina. it's always nice to visit that state. it's so lush and green, and i found myself not washing my hands obsessively as i do in new york. i don't cringe when i drop something on the ground and enter an internal debate as to whether i should just throw away the item or consider the possibility of salvaging it by wiping it down with bleach.

the main purpose of this trip was to attend my sister's wedding. i got in on friday afternoon and went to the rehearsal dinner that the groom's family threw for those who were in town. it was a nice precursor to the wedding because i had met only very few of d's family but have heard lots about all of them.

e & c were gracious enough to let me crash with them that night. they had recently moved from baltimore to durham and bought a house, an actual stand-alone house that's become a phenomenon to me. i've actually never lived in a stand-alone house before. my family had always lived in rented apartments, and my mom currently lives in a duplex where her side walls are shared with her neighbors. also, i've spent the past 6 years in los angeles and new york, living in cramped spaces, so my sense of a home has been warped, particularly compared to the american norm, which i think of as a house. e & c's house is lovely and wonderfully spacious with a woodsy backyard. i could hear crickets at night, standing on the porch.

saturday was the big day. i picked up r at the airport and headed to elmo's diner for brunch with e & c. then, r & i met my parents. it was the first time r met my mom, which went well, as i had expected. we headed to the hotel to check-in and to get ready for the wedding.

the wedding itself was very informal and small, just close family and friends. it wasn't even really a ceremony, more of a celebration. b & d had actually gotten married at the magistrate's the day before. the gathering was held at the horace williams house in chapel hill, they had the best north carolina-style bbq restaurant - bullock's - cater, and the strawberry shortcake was made by mad hatter's. they've known each other for about 10 years so it's been a long wait for all of us. the two of them put it together pretty much all by themselves, and only the day of did they ask their friends to pitch in and physically set up everything.

towards the end of the evening, a handful of us said a few words to the newly weds. k got everyone's attention and basically acted as the most awesome master of ceremonies. d's grandfather spoke first, sharing his wisdom on what makes a solid marriage. i then followed and teared up merely a third of the way through my short speech. d's brother went next, quoting some marriage adages. b's best friend from middle school said her words, sharing her experience with the couple since she's known them. and d's father ended the night with his speech as b & d cut the cake and champagne was passed around for the toast.

r had to leave the next day, having to return to work, but we were able to squeeze in some time on unc's campus, ncssm's campus, and duke gardens. here are some pictures from the gardens:


lily pond


couple of turkeys?


lamb's ears


maybe dandelions?

after my parents and i dropped off r at the airport, we headed to jacksonville. we took it easy on monday, not doing anything, and did hotpot for dinner:



it's one of my favorite meals because it's simple; thus, all the ingredients have to be fresh.

on tuesday, we went to hammock beach, one of the places i make a point to visit on almost every one of the trips i make to north carolina:


the dock where we arrive at bear island, the beach being on the other side of this island


an egret we spotted on the ferry ride


the beach


clear water


sea gulls keeping an eye out for anyone with food

overall, the trip felt very short but probably one of the happiest. i can finally refer to d as my brother-in-law after all these years. my mom finally met r and got along well. i got to see my friends and their new house. i was able to make it to the beach with the scrapes on my knees to prove it. and every night, my mom prepared the most delicious meals. but the vacation could only last so long, and it's good to be home too.

cars and maybe a blowhorn

on our drive home yesterday, we passed by a car that ran into a ditch. there was an abc liquor store across the street. classic scene in rural north carolina.

according to the list of sample questions and answers provided by the INS, the constitution is “the supreme law of the land.” i didn’t know land had laws. i thought it mainly consisted of dirt. nations/societies have laws. maybe i’m mistaken with my american public educated mind and all. “the supreme law of the land” – it’s a phrase that simply cannot be said. it’s one that needs to be declare loudly, like with a blow horn. maybe i should bring one with me when i finally get to take the test. i’m sure it’s something that will pass security check.

jax movie selection

my sister arrived in jacksonville yesterday afternoon. we called the one and only theatre in town to see what was playing. think about that worst movies that got released this season. that’s what’s playing here. at least the golden compass and sweeney todd are playing. i was hoping for juno, but i was asking for too much there. disappointment is what i get for being optimistic. 2 good movies aren’t bad, however. and i do have netflix, for which i am incredibly thankful.

pigs vs. people

the other day, i heard on npr that, according to a recent census, there are more pigs and hogs in north carolina than people. yup, that’s my state.

holiday travel

i’m in north carolina for the next week or so and had the craziest time traveling here. first, i thought i booked my ticket for wednesday 12/19. good thing i was looking up my itinerary on monday 12/17 and discovered that i was to fly out the next day, tuesday 12/18. so monday was sort of a day of madness, trying to get everything done i thought i had two days to do. but most things were accomplished, and i was ready for the flight.

i headed for the subway station with r on tuesday morning as he was heading off to work and i was heading for the airport. we bid our gooey lover good-bye (yes, i’ve become one of those people), and i continued on the train to my stop. the plan was to take the train to astoria, queens and catch a bus from there to the airport.

a guy with luggage sat near me on the train so i guessed he was headed for the same destination. according to the schedule posted at the stop, the bus was supposed to come by every 10 minutes during that time of the day. we waited for about 40 minutes, and still no sign of the bus. people had already started hailing the rare cabs that happened to come by the area, strangers who paired up to split the fare. finally, the guy who was on the train with me, walked off to get a cab too. at that point, i was getting anxious about my flight as well. of course, as soon as we hopped in the cab, the bus showed up. at least we made it to the airport in good time.

but as things always seem to happen in my life, my flight got delayed by 40 minutes, something about heavy incoming air traffic. so i didn’t really need to take that cab. what’s done was done though so i had to get over it. the delay made me anxious about my connecting flight, however. the flight was supposed to take two hours, and with the delay, i had only five minutes to get to my other flight. i had a hunch that would entail running from one end of the airport to the absolute opposite end. thankfully, the flight was about 30 minutes shorter than expected so i ended up just walking briskly, not having to outright run, to the other end.

when i arrived at the other concourse, a cluster of people was standing at the entry. the concourse had been shut off. the lady next to me didn’t know what was happening. charlotte police officers whizzed past me as i waited along with the other anxious travelers. finally, we were allowed to pass through. i reached the gate just minutes before the flight was supposed to take off. i hopped on the plane and planted myself in my seat.

the plane was small, one of those with just two seats on each side of the aisle. because i got on the plane so late, i didn’t even bother to try to fit my carry-on in the overhead bin. i put it underneath the seat in front of me along with my purse. there was no one sitting next to me anyway. the flight attendant came by and told me that my bags were not under the seats enough. i tried to push them a little farther, and he walked away. i figured it was fine. but then, he came back and told me that he couldn’t close the door until i put my bags UNDERNEATH the seat in front of me. i was livid. why didn’t he had me do it “the right way” the first time around? he suggested putting my carry-on in the overhead bin, and i refused, out of spite, claiming that the compartment was too small for my bag. after some fidgeting, he was satisfied and said, “you are too kind,” for making the effort. i SO wanted to smack him.

when it came time to serve beverages, he ignored me. i did have my headphones on and didn’t exactly tried to get his attention, but he never made the effort to offer me anything. only as we were about to land did the little prick stopped by my seat to get my attention. i had already turned off my ipod, as the captain requested, but left my headphones in just to see if he would say anything. of course, in his power-tripping mode, he told me, “i need you to turn off your headphones.” okay, you don’t turn off “the headphones.” you turn off the mp3 player or whatever is playing the music. i told him it’s off, and he said, “okay,” in a tone that suggested that he didn’t believe me but didn’t want to start another altercation with me. come on! he’s attending a flight that doesn’t even leave the state. either he’s a rookie or really bad. some attendants are super laid back and easy on these smaller planes. really, dude, just ease off. i couldn’t even look at the condescending little jerk as i got off the plane although i nodded a good-bye to the captain. i’m totally writing u.s. airways about this experience. with customer service like this, no wonder american airlines are tanking.

what also made me irritated were the two women sitting behind me on that flight. they must’ve been in their 50s. when i sat down, one of them was talking about how her daughter just moved from brooklyn to manhattan. but she’s in harlem. (gasp!) and it’s the part of harlem where clinton has his office, and she likes all sorts of people and really enjoys the multi-cultural aspects of the city. wow. the effort to not come across as racist/elitist just oozed out of her mouth. then, when the flight attendant was giving me trouble about my bag, one of them said, “i don’t understand why people bring so much stuff with them. i’m just worried about my safety.” really, if you really were concerned about your safety, mind your own business! i just kept telling myself that she was totally itching to get back to her country club to knock down those martinis to keep from spitting at her. and to top it off, you know how you normally give the people who were sitting in front of you the courtesy to let them go ahead of you? the wench just jumped in front of me. i cut in front of her on our way to the airport building, only sorry that my backpack didn’t “accidentally” knock her over. as we waited by the luggage carousel, she had the nerve to glare at me. yeah, the holidays certainly bring the best out of people. and to think, i have to fly back to new york next friday... happy holidays, everyone!

home?

i returned to new york today, and it doesn't feel like home, even though it technically is. it's what's on my driver's license and where all my mail is delivered. but having "lived" here for only six months, including a miserable winter that resulted in wind burns streaked across my face and then leaving for shreveport, louisiana for three and a half months, new york doesn't feel like home.

it might not help that i'm leaving for another four months in less than two weeks from today either.

okay. instead of dwelling on new york's status as "home", i'm going to catch up on my visit with my mom in jacksonville, north carolina. luckily, she had the first week of july off from work so we were able to travel a little. our first trip was to emerald isle. we normally go to hammocks beach in swansboro but figured we should go to another one, just to see. emerald isle is still really nice, just not as nice as hammocks beach, which i'll get to later.

on july 4th, we traveled to new bern and stumbled upon a free day at tryon palace, the only day of the year when it opens its grounds to the public for free. i don't remember having been there on any school field trips although my sister had gone multiple times during her days in the north carolina public school system. my mom definitely had never been there before. we didn't go on any tours but just walked around the gardens, which were beautifully kept. afterwards, we went to the mall.

later in the week, we made a day trip to wilmington to have lunch with a friend of mine. as we walked from the parking garage to the restaurant, i think we passed by julia stiles. anyway, my mom had thai food for the first time. i think she liked it but not love it like i do. it was nice to see my friend and to finally meet his girlfriend, whom he had talked about a lot. after a stroll along the boardwalk, we went to the mall.

i'm breaking here to express how much shopping irritates me. unless there's something i'm looking for specifically, i don't like to shop. maybe it's a point in my life that i've reached where shopping is no longer an appealing activity. also, knowing that we were making a trip to chapel hill later in the week where we could stop by the southpoint mall, a much bigger mall than the ones in new bern and wilmington and includes an outdoor section, i really didn't want to go to the two smaller malls.

so yes, we went to chapel hill for my friend's harry potter party, which was a lot of fun. she and her husband made brunswick stew and yorkshire pudding. yorkshire pudding is new to both my mom and me. my mom loved it. i liked it but not love it like she did. we watched two of the harry potter movies and went on an elaborate and creatively set up treasure hunt. then, i was introduced to the wii. an ingenius product. my sister has already requested one for her graduation present but now i'm not so sure if i'll be able to hand it over to her when i'm able to find one.

we spent the night in chapel hill and then drove to hammocks beach the next day. i don't think i can ever find another beach i love more than this place. it's kind of a pain to get to which weeds out a lot of people. you have to take a ferry and then walk about 1/2 mile to cross bear island to arrive at the beach. also, as a state park with a huge emphasis on preserving the ecology of the island, it's kept extremely clean. no alcohol is allowed either. whereas you can find little mounts of cigarette butts at emerald isle, there are little clumps of seaweed that have washed ashore, sprinkled along hammocks beach. the waves were so great that afternoon that i wished i had a surfboard instead of my little boogie board, with which i still managed to catch quite a few waves.

the visit with mom wouldn't have been complete had we not been able to go there. while talking with the ferry captain on the way back to the mainland, we realized that we've been going to this beach for 14 years. our first visit occurred while i was still in middle school, and we've gone pretty much every year since then. i only hope we can still go every year from now on. summer would not feel like summer without a trip there.

summer is back on!

maybe not the whole season, but as of now, i have a week of it. i had a flight to fly back to new york tomorrow at seven AM. at around two o'clock this afternoon, i got a call that the ct gig has been pushed. my start date wouldn't be until july 9. so i'm staying in shreveport to properly finish my current job, as originally planned. at the end of the month, i'll fly to visit my mom in north carolina. i'll be able to spend that whole first week of july with her.

if only this had been the original plan, it would have worked out perfectly and much less stress rearranging travel. i'm exhausted from re-pulling everything back to its original shape. thank goodness i have the beach to look forward to.

missing summer

having taken on another job immediately following this one, summer will escape me. i'm leaving shreveport, lousiana this weekend and heading up to stratford, connecticut for the next gig. before the ct job came about, i had planned to visit my mom in north carolina for the first week of july. she has the entire week off from work, and it would've been nice to be able to take her to our beloved hammock beach in swansboro for a day. the rest of the week would consist of doing not very much, the way a vacation should be.

now, i'll be working through the summer. as the temperature is creeping higher and higher every year, though, maybe i'm lucky to have missed the hottest season of the year. if the trend sticks, i'll be able to hit the beach when the job ends in september. the water will still be warm. it might be even not as riping hot. gotta take those jobs when i can though. work now, play later.

acc

so there was some talk about north carolina losing its dominance at the acc as a state. yeah, unc did get beat by virginia tech twice and also by georgia tech once out of two games. duke had no chance at the acc this year. wake forest...well, they're only a north carolina team by geographical default. but who made it to the finals? unc and north carolina state. those of you who had doubts about north carolina as the reigning state of the acc can shove it!

even though the tarheels won today, the wolfpacks put up a great fight. we had only played 2 games in the past 2 days whereas nc state had played 4 games within the past week, 3 of which were back to back. i wouldn't have been surprised had they been a little exhausted and sluggish as boston college had been, but they weren't. their energy and focus were on the game every moment and pushed the tarheels as a formidable and respectable opponent. (boston college, on the other hand, started yesterday's game by shoving unc around. within the first 3 minutes of the game, a bc player pushed the ball in hansbrough's face mask, probably unintentionally, like henderson from duke unintentionally gave tyler the broken nose at the match up on 3/4/2007. but i'm sure it still hurts like a mofo.) had unc not been playing as well as we did today, nc state definitely would've had a good chance of beating us. we wanted the championship as much as they did, however. it's only a shame that nc state, after taking out both #2 virginia and #3 virginia tech, won't be in the ncaa. both unc and nc state gave a phenomenal performance. but there can only be one winner, and that's the tarheels.

and now onward to the ncaa!

sea change holiday

north carolina turned out to be a great trip. it was so nice to go to a place that felt clean and fresh, but we also felt like we were cut off from civilization. my sister and i were without internet until the end of the week. my mom's house has no internet since she doesn't use computers. our easiest option is a nearby coffeehouse. we just didn't get a chance to go until the end of the trip. we also went on a hunt for the new york times. there didn't seem to be any place in town that carried the paper. it was like traveling back in time to pre-21st-century.

however, we reencountered civilization at the north carolina aquarium in pine knoll shores. it was kind of a funny trip. when we travel by car now as a family, my sister or i would drive and our parents would sit in the back of the car. my sister drove on the way to the aquarium, and our parents kept asking "are we there yet?" the entire way. we had visited the aquarium a long time ago, but it was recently renovated. it has vastly improved: a much larger space with a lot more exhibits and animals than we remembered. our parents were delighted with the fish, commenting on which ones would be tasty. luckily, they spoke in cantonese so no one around us knew what they said. they were impressed with the large sharks but especially loved the moon jellies which appeared as ghostly, floating, glow-in-the-dark round shapes with trailing strands. i loved the sea turtles. they looked kind of clumsy as their flippers flapped awkwardly, propelling and navigating them through the water. they were so cute! on our way home, i drove. our parents zonked out in the back, their eyes closed and heads nodding rhythmically with the car ride. there have been countless times when my sister and i have taken over making household decisions and acted as the adults for the family, regardless of our age at the time. maybe my sister and i are actual adults now, and we are all older. it has also been a long time since all four of us had spent so much time together. but this car ride, looking at the two of them in the rearview mirror, sleeping in the back of the car like exhausted children after a day of fun, made me feel different. without a doubt, i felt like an adult. there have been moments when i feel old, jaded, exhausted, but this was different.

we all played mah-jong one evening. i felt rusty. it's a game i never thought i would feel rusty playing it. my mom and my sister won. i lost, but my dad also lost. he wasn't even trying to let us win. he had always been the best player among us. he would wait for a bigger hand just so the rest of us would have more time to get our tiles together. it's kind of strange that at a certain point, we can grow old and young simultaneously as we age. but regardless of my parents becoming older or younger, i'm definitely growing older and learning to understand what exactly it means to be an adult. i think i've finally caught a real glimpse of adulthood. no wonder grown-ups tell kids to cherish their youth. not that youth is better, but it's definitely different and it'll be a while before they get a chance to recapture it.

best wishes to all in 2007.

catch up

okay, so i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m not a very good blogger. i’ve made it to my mom’s house in north carolina and am leaving for baltimore tomorrow. here's a summary of the rest of the road trip since my last posting:

DAYS 6-7, DENVER

the rest of my stay in denver did not involve much excitement. i watched the u.s. open and was inspired to subject l to play tennis with me when she came home from work. one night, i made dinner for l, her cousin, and her cousin’s boyfriend – a jamie oliver recipe of tomatoes and chicken. afterwards, we went to a local bar and hung out. the next day, l took me to boulder to have dinner with a friend of hers. the visit would’ve been complete if we had been able to go to the denver art museum – most of the building was closed due to renovations. the art museum was something that we always said we would see when i visited. bummer. regardless, it was nice to see l.

DAY 8, KANSAS/ST LOUIS

drove through kansas and arrived in st louis. kansas is kind of scary – three anti-abortion billboards appeared along the highway within 5 miles of crossing the colorado-kansas state line. i had to stop once for gas within the state, and i felt stared at, like they can just tell that i was a liberal and am going to hell.

thankfully, i had cd’s of ‘this american life’ to keep me sane. at this point, i’ve also listened to ‘skinny dip’ by carl hiaasen, ‘a woman of independent means’ by elizabeth forsythe hailey and ‘good grief’ by lolly winston, books on tape courtesy of my la stitch-n-bitchin' ladies :) ‘skinny dip’ was great – carl hiaasen is now on my list of authors to keep an eye out for – great sense of humor and wit. ‘independent means’ wasn’t as engrossing. i was actually glad when it ended. not sure if i didn’t like the reading of it or the material itself. ‘good grief’ was good timing – it’s about a woman whose life is turned upside down when her husband passes away. her life changes in ways that she could never imagine – it gives me hope about what’s in store for me with my move.

i made it to st louis late that night and then stayed up even later, glued to the television with the agassi-baghdatis match. it was the last time that i would see agassi play.

DAYS 9-11, NORTH CAROLINA

arrived in hendersonville, nc for b’s wedding. she was crediting the event to me – during a visit to la a couple of years ago, she and her now husband had arrived at a cross-roads of sorts, having been on and off since high school. i pointed out to her how obviously in love she was with g and that she needed to give him a second chance for herself. g had been the standard to which she compared every other guy she had dated or even interested in. i hadn’t met g at that point. in fact, i only met g the day i arrived in hendersonville. what was i thinking, encouraging her to concede to him? but having seen them interact now, i truly believe that they will share a beautiful life together, maybe dramatic but wonderful.

the wedding went smoothly. it had been rainy in north carolina because of hurricane ernesto, but the wedding day was beautiful. even mother nature believed it was meant to be. the bride was gorgeous in her stunning dress. the groom seemed nervous but was very handsome in his army formal. a couple of people at the wedding were from my high school so it was actually really nice to catch up with them. kind of funny that i never talked to them when we were in high school together, but they’re fantastic people. come to think of it, i didn’t become friends with briana until college and then got to know her best friend, a, through her. all that lost time, but better late than never.

i left on sunday to proceed to cross the rest of the state for jacksonville, nc. i finished ‘gods in alabama’ by joshilyn jackson, another book on tape, and really loved it. i started it as i was entering the south (around kentucky). it's the kind of story that makes southern literature so enticing.

when i arrived at my mom’s, she had an amazing dinner waiting for me. ah, i was home.

DAYS 12-17, JACKSONVILLE, NC

for the past week, i haven’t been doing much. i know i should be ashamed, but my mom has made dinner every night. and to make it worse, she’s been doing the dishes. to my defense, though, she doesn’t pass on to me what she has in mind for dinner, and i don’t want to mess up her plans, which i've done before, to my regret. and i do try to wash the dishes, but she would jump in front of the kitchen sink and would at most let me rinse.

i’ve been trying to set up the phone line and dsl service for the new york apartment while betty is working, and it’s been the worst experience ever. i’ve placed the order with verizon since august 29 so it’s been 2 weeks. nothing is set up yet. there was some error with our line that took them over a week to discover. earlier this week, i was on the phone with verizon for almost an hour, getting passed to 8 different people - i think i was passed back to the same department twice. i used to think that people exaggerate when i hear stories like this. seriously, 2 weeks, about 10 calls, almost an hour and 8 different people on one of the calls. nada. grr.

all the logistics for me leaving the new car with my mom and taking the old car up north to hand off to my sister’s boyfriend/almost-brother-in-law should be in place. auto insurance in north carolina is immensely cheaper than in la! and i washed and waxed the car yesterday for her to start driving it today (she has some getting-used-to to make) and will give the same pamper treatment to the other car this afternoon. see, i try. (i also patched the chip in the bathtub!)

hope this will do for now. i’ll work on being a better blogger.