Monday, October 02, 2006

parallel synchronized randomness

saw the science of sleep yesterday with my friend a and my sister. i loved it - the stop-motion animation made me feel like a 6-yr-old again, looking at the world with wonder, and gael garcia bernal made me feel like a 16-yr-old with a high school crush on a boy. the blurring of dreams and reality was a little exhausting, trying to figure out whether things were really happening or just in stephane's mind. but i think the appeal was this very obscure division between reality and dreams - my life seems to resemble this dubious state. i'm not quite sure what i'm doing. everything feels kind of surreal. maybe my days would feel more solid if i gave myself more structure - a schedule of things to do everyday. but right now, being unemployed, i daydream a lot. i'm alone for most days. sometimes, the tv is on - it's been a long time since i've watched this much tv. even when i'm doing chores, they're pretty mindless work that i would imagine all sorts of things. i took the curtains to the laundromat today. as i was standing on the windowsill, taking off the curtains, i wondered if i lost my balance, threw my weight on the window, and the window popped out of the rectangles in the walls, would the glass panes and frame hold together and simply fall over the narrow space between our apartment building and the next, with the ends catching the outer walls of both buildings and keep me suspended in that narrow corridor like a bridge? or i'll fall the other way and would my reflexes be quick enough as i tip over the ledge to let me leap onto the futon for a softer landing? or would i miss and hit my head on the edge of the frame? my imagination runs a little too wild sometimes - it's probably just a sign that i'm bored. need new project.

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