sea change holiday

north carolina turned out to be a great trip. it was so nice to go to a place that felt clean and fresh, but we also felt like we were cut off from civilization. my sister and i were without internet until the end of the week. my mom's house has no internet since she doesn't use computers. our easiest option is a nearby coffeehouse. we just didn't get a chance to go until the end of the trip. we also went on a hunt for the new york times. there didn't seem to be any place in town that carried the paper. it was like traveling back in time to pre-21st-century.

however, we reencountered civilization at the north carolina aquarium in pine knoll shores. it was kind of a funny trip. when we travel by car now as a family, my sister or i would drive and our parents would sit in the back of the car. my sister drove on the way to the aquarium, and our parents kept asking "are we there yet?" the entire way. we had visited the aquarium a long time ago, but it was recently renovated. it has vastly improved: a much larger space with a lot more exhibits and animals than we remembered. our parents were delighted with the fish, commenting on which ones would be tasty. luckily, they spoke in cantonese so no one around us knew what they said. they were impressed with the large sharks but especially loved the moon jellies which appeared as ghostly, floating, glow-in-the-dark round shapes with trailing strands. i loved the sea turtles. they looked kind of clumsy as their flippers flapped awkwardly, propelling and navigating them through the water. they were so cute! on our way home, i drove. our parents zonked out in the back, their eyes closed and heads nodding rhythmically with the car ride. there have been countless times when my sister and i have taken over making household decisions and acted as the adults for the family, regardless of our age at the time. maybe my sister and i are actual adults now, and we are all older. it has also been a long time since all four of us had spent so much time together. but this car ride, looking at the two of them in the rearview mirror, sleeping in the back of the car like exhausted children after a day of fun, made me feel different. without a doubt, i felt like an adult. there have been moments when i feel old, jaded, exhausted, but this was different.

we all played mah-jong one evening. i felt rusty. it's a game i never thought i would feel rusty playing it. my mom and my sister won. i lost, but my dad also lost. he wasn't even trying to let us win. he had always been the best player among us. he would wait for a bigger hand just so the rest of us would have more time to get our tiles together. it's kind of strange that at a certain point, we can grow old and young simultaneously as we age. but regardless of my parents becoming older or younger, i'm definitely growing older and learning to understand what exactly it means to be an adult. i think i've finally caught a real glimpse of adulthood. no wonder grown-ups tell kids to cherish their youth. not that youth is better, but it's definitely different and it'll be a while before they get a chance to recapture it.

best wishes to all in 2007.