catharsis

i started on a nightmare project about 6 weeks ago and was recently dismissed from it. i believe it was a wrongful termination, an opinion being supported by many of my former co-workers, and have informed my union regarding this matter. i just want to work with people i can learn from again, like the people i worked with in los angeles. i'm tired of learning from counter-examples. i can't believe that my bosses are getting worse and worse, in terms of competency and decency. after my last boss, i didn't think anyone could be worse. i was wrong.

i thought it would be awkward to go into the office this past monday to clean out my desk. but it actually felt cathartic, to toss out all my paperwork and packing up MY belongings. going around to say bye to people i liked on the show was sad but also nice - to feel sad confirmed that real friendships had formed, which is always a wonderful thing. everyone was so supportive of me, undoubtedly believing that i shouldn't have been fired. some even expressed jealousy that i was getting to leave this hellish project. i mustered the courage to say bye even to my boss who fired me. i kept it short but courteous, "i'm taking off. good luck with the rest of the show." that person briskly replied, "all right, bye." she didn't even look up from her computer to make eye contact. at that point, i knew it was their loss to have me go, not mine.

it's nice to be back in new york though. my first day back, being on the subway slightly felt like home, like i'm returning to reality. and the best things about that project, the people who kept me going, they are still in my life. what's ironic is that a disaster occurred on the project just this morning. there is bad karma that surrounds this thing, and i'm relieved to no longer be a part of it. had i been dismissed because i was solely at fault, i would accept it and let it go. since that was not the case, i'm sitting back and watching it fall apart, while wagging a finger at them to say, what goes around, comes around. thank goodness for unions.