love in old age

today, i read this article on nytimes.com about love in old age. it referred to former justice sandra day o'connor, that she is happy for her husband, who has alzheimer's, having a new lover. it goes on to say that as we age, our definition of love changes. when we're young, it's all about ME being happy, and we tend to respond to negatives, like our partner having a new lover is hurtful to ME. as we age, however, the focus of love changes to the other person being happy, and our responses begin to shift to the positives, like our partner having a new loves makes he/she happy.

it reminds me of losing a sense of myself when i'm deeply engrossed in a project, particularly writing when i used to write. there were moments when it's all about the story, the writing, as if it has consumed so much of my mind that there was no room for even me. being so deeply in love seems to be similar to this, that our heart and mind are so consumed by this other person and his/her well-being that we don't think of ourselves. my heart is still vulnerable enough to be broken, if not shattered. but if it does happen, i feel i can move on past the pain and try to focus on the new opportunities that might be open once life moves me in a different direction. hopefully, i will not have to reach that point, and right now, i have a feeling that it won't reach that point. otherwise, if i do, indeed, have doubts, i should move on now.